Today made me uncomfortable. I was reminded twice about what is so difficult for me and others, and that is humility. Not an easy way of thinking or living for an egotistical alcoholic like myself.
This came up on my own to begin with. It was part of reading and stopping to think about this earlier, and then at the meeting today.
And what is so difficult for me is that it requires ego deflation in depth. Like I was thinking, not an easy thing to do.
But, on the other hand, it’s really do-able. I know, because that was what was taught by my old sponsor and others. To be willing to step aside quietly, and to step back and get out of the way and not call attention on myself. Just to do what is necessary and no more, but quietly.
I know it’s part of growing along spiritual lines. To be able to step back and remember who is in charge. Not me, but my Higher Power. I have to continue to remember to turn my life and my will over to him. To remain willing to do his will and not mine. To be able to listen to others and remember what I have learned from those old timers and what I have read and studied in the BB.
One other thing was my recent readings of the Eleventh and the Twelfth Traditions. Like it says, anonymity has a very immense spiritual significance. Being able to step back and practice our humility. To step out of being self centered.
And, of course, it is a very important reminder that I must focus on staying sober. To practice staying sober a day at a time. I can never forget why I am here. However I must remind myself each and everyday to practice hope, faith, and love, in order to do my Higher Power’s will for me. To be grateful and thank the God of my understanding for this miracle of freedom from drinking alcohol. And then to be willing to freely give what was so freely given to me, the message of hope to new comers in this program.