There was a lot of talk today about the Tenth Step in the 12&12. It brought up a lot of thoughts on anger at individuals and the tough time they had to get over it. Made me go back and think about what it was like, when the Steps themselves and my sponsor worked to change me. Wasn’t easy. Time took time.
I always have to go back and see what it was that woke me up and got me to begin to change, after I had been in the program a short time. One of those was those two men, who were driven back to drinking again, because of resentments. They both drank and died. That was a wake up call for me, back then.
Also I had read in the BB, where it pointed out that resentments were an invitation to getting drunk again. And, of course, death.
And that’s what got me to surrender to truth, which I didn’t have. It got me to ask an old timer to become my new sponsor. And he was the one, who opened the door to this program for me. Being willing to stop living and believing the junk I was in, and opening the door to the truth, was where he led me. I had to learn to put all what I thought I knew outside the door and come in and sit down and begin to listen to what it was I needed to do…because I didn’t know that I didn’t know.
He helped me to begin to live a spiritual way of life, and to believe in and have faith in my Higher Power. That and putting the Steps into action. But first learning what they were all about. This is what helped me to begin to understand that not drinking was only the beginning of living a sober life. There was a lot of work and faith that I had to start doing in here, which helped change my life, and start staying sober a day at a time.
All this helped me to begin to get over my negative emotions. I was able to put my thoughts ahead of my “feelings”, which had been the control of me, before I stopped drinking, and had come in with me.
Anyway I had heard where some people were and knew that there is an answer, if we are willing to change. It’s what I learned from my sponsor and those other old timers, who helped cut my ego down to size, and do what I needed to do. And it did change me and has given me the gifts I need. Happiness, peace of mind, and faith, hope, and love. A spiritual awakening, and freedom from bondage. I need to be grateful and thank my Higher Power, my old sponsor, and all those, who reached out and helped me. I learned that time takes time. And that it’s a day at a time.