One of those things, which ran through my head at the meeting today, was what my old sponsor told me, as well as something I also learned back then. My sponsor told me that I didn’t know that I didn’t know…I only thought I did. He was absolutely right. And the other thing I learned was that I had to learn how this way of life works. And some of that was happiness and peace of mind.
Of course one of the things I had to learn was that I finally had to grow up. That was not only my problem, but a lot of those old timers and the alcoholics sober today have told me it was also their problem. And that problem was that I had failed to grow up back early on. Alcoholism cut me down. Now I had to begin to not only grow up, but to practice spirituality, where I will be an adult to help others get sober, but also to be able to step back and be humble. And that is all about being simple and child like with my Higher Power. Not always something I would like.
Yet there were things I was always stumbling over. And that was some anger and resentments, which my negative thoughts and emotions kept bringing back to me. Another was fear, which this kind of thinking would set me off on the other things I just spoke of. And, just like the BB points out to us, we are not saints, but just human alcoholics, who will bumble, and stumble, until the day we die. We may start our day off spiritually, but as the day goes on, our minds will wander and we trip up and have to ask our Higher Power for help, as well as our AA friends.
I have been talking to some of my old friends, who are still going through this stuff. My hope is that I can help and encourage them to continue to hang in and learn and work on the changes we need. Again time takes time. It’s a day at a time, but all that is slow. I know what I had to go through, which helped me to not only change, but to learn how to be happy and at peace.
Anyway I wanted to once again go back and talk about what works for all of us, if we work it. I had to learn to continue to go forward no matter what. Over time it worked. And that gave me the thanks I needed for my Higher Power and all my old friends in here. And, of course, all those I have grown to know along the way. Hopefully I will be able to help those who need it.