I couldn’t help but think about that prayer today, which asks my Higher Power to “relieve me of the bondage of self”. And what is that? Self centered ego inflation. Hard to completely explain. But it reminds me I’m still in my way.
When I remember my old sponsor and those old timers telling me what he BB states, that we are not saints, but human alcoholics. And they would point out to me that, though I may pray and meditate, I was still going to tumble, and bumble, and stumble until the day that I die. I had to remember to catch myself and ask my Higher Power, and fellow members to help me and get me back on track. And I would have to help them.
They would always point out to me that I had to remember to step back and get out of my own way, to be quiet and help others like myself, both in the program, and those trying to come in. I know that if I stay focused on staying sober a day at a time, this I can do. But when my mind wanders off, I can trip myself up.
Anyway I was sitting and thinking about getting ready to go to a meeting this noon and my mind wandered off into thinking about being human and stumbling. All I have to do is to look into the mirror of myself, when watching others like myself. A wake up call for all of us. Just the reality of staying sober a day at a time.
However, it helps me to do what I need to do and that is to try to continue to grow along spiritual lines in here. All I have to do is to look at what really works for me. And that is the peace and often the happiness of this gift of sobriety, which my Higher Power and this program has given to me. Amazing to say the least. I am so grateful to my Higher Power and all those who have helped me along the way, even if they are not conscious they are doing so.
Thanks.