I just got off the phone with a new man, actually a retread, who is struggling to get back into the program. He told me that he had a few years back a few years ago, but that he had become complacent and that led him back out the door and he’s trying to get back. He’s having a hard time.
The thing that came to mind was in How It Works, because he was asking me how I stayed in when I first came to this program. I thought about that for a moment and could only come up with one word “commitment”. I commited myself to this program from the moment I walked in. I had to. I had no other choice. I knew I could never afford to drink again and I just grabbed on, despite the arguments in my head. I gritted my teeth and like a bull dog just hung on. Fear was the motivation.
Like I said, the words from the 5th chapter came up, “Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program…”. People who can’t or won’t commit.
For me, anyway, I need to be reminded daily of this commitment I made way back when. How easily this can slip away from me, when I become complacent. But I can’t afford to lose this commitment. Everything I am and have is the result of this.
I am nothing special. I’m just a drunk like everyone else. I need this program today more than anytime in my life. To do that, I have to stay commited to it. And, I am so grateful to those who have helped me along the way to keep this commitment. Even the man who called and told me where he was. It’s this kind of thing which reminds me of where I am and what I have at stake.
Anyway, it set me to thinking.
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