As a result of a conversation this afternoon, I was made to think about that word faith. After all, faith seems to be essential to all of us, who desire to stay sober.
I know one thing, when I was challenged by the chapter to the agnostics, I knew I had to find a faith that works. Either God was or He wasn’t. Either He was everything or He was nothing. All of this was premised on the fact that I had to achieve some sort of faith or face and alcoholic death. So, I had to make a decision one way or another. It was not a choice fired by any feelings or emotions. It was made in the cold light of reason. It was probably the first step in getting an open mind. Something I was told that I lacked. In a sense it was a step in surrender and commitment to the AA program.
But, it didn’t end there. It still is an ongoing process in my life. I won’t go into a description of that process, since that would be truly boring for anyone. I’m not afraid to talk about it, but it’s not for general distribution. Each of us has his or her own story. All of our stories are still in process. At almost every meeting we reveal a little more of our stories. When we talk to each other in private even more of our stories are revealed. Our stories are important and none more important than the one we tell about our faith and our growth in this phase of our lives.
However, since faith is not static, it is one which is constantly increased and changed, not by so much what we think about it, but what we do about it. At least for me, I have found that what Bill says in the BB to be true. Faith without works is dead. To me it means the application of the full program to my life on a daily basis. Especially being available to work with others. That may not always be possible on a personal level, but just being present in a meeting. Just being an example to another suffering alcoholic, though we may never know it, is so important.
In fact working with others, in whatever fashion, is very much the core of what keeps us sober. Bill and Bob knew this from the very beginning. There are a lot of ways to do this. Just setting up a meeting, making coffee for the group, shaking a sufferer’s hand, even though we may never get a chance to speak beyond a “hello”, is all part of carrying the message. It’s an expression of this faith we are always working for. A thank you to our Higher Power for this gift of sobriety.
None of this is dependent on my feelings one way or another. It’s just in the doing. I read in someplace in the literature that the twelfth step was not dependent on my state or condition. Certainly I can remember how reluctant I was to go on a twelfth step call. Often it was inconvenient, at least I thought, and I was often surly…until I got there.
Anyway, I was thinking about faith. It was the beginning of the solution in my life.