There is so much going on in the world around us and so much information available to us, that it is a wonder that we can all go to meetings and not bring it in through the doors with us. Although sometimes fragments tend to slip in with our concerns.
I often think back to when AA was first founded. The economic, political, and social issues were at a critical point in the lives of everyone. Not only was the Great Depression going on, but World War II followed right behind that and many men and women became involved.
Yet there is no mention of that in our literature. Why? I have to ask myself. Then I read what was important to our founders and all the men and women, who were early members. They had found a solution to their real problem. Alcoholism. That was the primary problem and it became their primary purpose to stay sober, despite all the distractions crying for their attention. Either that or face the consequences: insanity and a horrible death.
While I was thinking about this earlier this morning, it was quite apparent to me that I came to this program for one reason and one reason only. It was alcohol. My desperate need to stop drinking, which I couldn’t do on my own. Try as I might, I failed each and every time to stop drinking. Alcohol was driving me insane and literally killing me.
And it was in here that I found the solution. Then I discovered that, though I was able to stop drinking, that I would never be cured of my alcoholism. That if I didn’t treat it on a daily basis, chances are I would go back and surely die. If nothing else I would be caught in the hell I had just left. In any event the choice was obvious. I had to follow the road set out for me by those men and women, who had preceded me. And wonder of wonders, it worked.
It worked so well that my life was revolutionized. Turned around in a way that brought me peace of mind and allowed me for the first time to reach a level of comfort with myself. It changed my thinking, my attitude toward the world and life. It not only freed me of the insanity of drinking alcohol, but it brought me into a place where I was really happy. It freed me of so many fears it is hard to describe. And it allowed me to make peace with so many people and to repair the damage I had done. I found forgiveness and could forgive others. It was a new way of life. The best life I had conceived of ever.
Can I ever afford to forget what AA has done for me? To me the answer is no. But I know how easy it is for me to be distracted. How easy it is for me to forget what I have learned in here. That’s why I think the BB tells me that eternal vigilance is the price of sobriety.
Each and every day I live this sober life, it is important that I renew my dedication to this program, which gave me my freedom and my life. A new freedom and a new life. A spiritual way of life. That was the solution for which I had no concept until I entered these doors. Finding a higher power and a God of my understanding and surrendering myself to this way of life.
So, I was thinking how important it is to me to rededicate myself to my primary purpose, to stay sober and to try to help another alcoholic, each day. Failure to do that can only lead back to the insanity and chaos I came from. And I never want to go there again. It’s up to me to come up with the willingness and intention and then the action to continue to do what those old timers so freely gave to a drunk like myself.