My thoughts may come in a flood, but it’s not important, if I don’t act on them, particularly unhealthy thoughts. It’s not what I think, but what I do.
This was part of a conversation a couple of us were having after the meeting today. We were talking about the fact that I’m not always responsible for what I think. Thoughts just come into my head. However it’s my responsibility not to act on unwelcome thoughts, but to come up with the right thought and do the right thing.
Today we had a new person at the meeting. When I arrived I had no thought of doing a 12th Step. Probably the further-est thing from my mind. Yet, when the leader opened the meeting on the subject of welcoming this person into the program, he chose to call on me first. That took the wind out of my sails and got me back into thinking sobriety in a flash.
I can’t remember what I was thinking just before that moment. But it didn’t matter. What mattered was what I was going to do. My response and my responsibility. Like I said, it came in a flash. My primary purpose. To stay sober and carry the message, to help another alcoholic. And that’s what I did.
The thought that I am responsible to carry the message to another alcoholic, who reaches out for help, actually came to mind after I spoke. As others were doing the same thing, I thought about that.
I remembered that, when I came here, helping someone else was foreign to my mind. It was only after I entered into the Steps and began this spiritual way of life, a spiritual way of thinking, that my mind began to change. When I became aware, that part of living a spiritual way of life was to reach out and help someone else.
I also remembered that someplace along the line I was told that the 12th Step was not dependent on my state or condition. It depended on my higher power. Or better yet, the other person’s higher power, whatever that was to them. I wasn’t sure what my condition was when I spoke. I was too surprised at the moment.
But again, it wasn’t what I was thinking that was important, it was what I was willing to do. And what I was willing to do was what was asked of me this morning.
Anyway, I was thinking about all of this this evening.