Had a number of contacts yesterday and none of them were amazing. How different we can be from the rest of the population. Left to our own thoughts and isolated in our heads, we all tend to slip down into negative thinking. The past rises up quickly and what happened or what didn’t begins to fill our heads. This is usually followed by feelings and emotions, which reinforce our negative thoughts and drags us deeper.
Of course we have an antidote for that in the program, if we will only use it. My sponsor would always tell me to nip these thoughts in the bud and to turn my thoughts to the positive. To turn my mind over to the program and what works.
He would encourage me to always think of hope. To stay in the now and think only of the day. This day and not the past.
Bill W. would warn us about that, when discussing the tenth step. He warned us against morbidly wandering around in the past. He was well versed in the alcoholic’s thoughts and where they could take us, if we stayed there too long. His bouts with depression are well known.
One way to deal with this process is to pick up the telephone and talk to someone in the program. We often need a fresh opinion of where we are going in our thinking. Someone, who can help us dispel the gloom we can create, if we stay locked up in the lower regions of our minds. Someone, who can help us get back on track.
Of course there’s always the thought of prayer to our Higher Power. I always go back to the words I learned as a child. “Lift up your hearts”. I try to think of that often. When I hear others who have slipped down into darkness I think of that. It helps me reminds me to avoid the trap of depressing thoughts and the invitation to despair.
The other thing that helps is meetings. I can go there and hear what I need to hear and see the example of those who are staying on the beam in their lives. I’ve been exposed to an awful lot of positive people in my time in this program. I try to emulate these people to the best of my ability. All I have to do is look around to see what is possible in my life and learn how to think positive.
Of course there are always my character defects which can trigger episodes of negative thinking. If I can start my day with a prayer and an awareness of why I came here, I can make a connection to the God of my understanding and ask for help and strength to carry out his will this day. And then, if I find myself slipping down the slope, I can start my day over at anytime.
All this may sound like perfection. It’s not. It takes practice, practice, practice. With us it doesn’t come naturally. We have to try over and over again. It takes intention and will. We have to make a choice each day, which way we will go.
Anyway, that’s what I was thinking.