Talking to some alcoholics today the subject got around to meditation. The Eleventh Step once again. Learning to practice discipline and perseverance.
These were some of those, who had seemingly lost their way with others. Where their emotions led them to react to a person or persons because they didn’t understand what was going on with them. They really didn’t see that it wasn’t the other person who was the problem, but themselves. And they needed help in dealing with this.
And that’s where I brought what my sponsor told me. To step back, take a deep breath, and ask for help. In other words, to turn it over to my Higher Power. Or to let go and let God.
Of course a lot of this was the Serenity Prayer. Things I cannot change. Things I must let go of and accept. Especially, if I have a lot of things I think I need to do to change the other person. Which, for my part, I was never able to do.
Almost all of them felt that they were in charge. I thought how typical of people like us. As I was often told by old timers and those who were trying to help me. My ego was in my way once again. And it had to be cut down to size. And I thank those who had the courage to deflate my ego. It really helped me to begin to change.
I reminded two of them what a friend of mine always said, after fighting his wanting to be in charge and the losses he took as a result. Then he finally says that he had to get out of the driver’s seat and move to the back of the bus. I often think about that, because it is exactly what my sponsor wanted me to do. Let go and let God, as I understood him.
Anyway that was led us to talk about stepping aside and sitting quietly and beginning to practice meditation. Or, as I was reminded the other night of the first fruit of this practice. Emotional balance.
And the result of all of this was a reminder for all of us about why we are here to begin with. To stay sober a day at a time. To go to meetings where we need to leave outside issues to be shared with sponsors or others, and to talk about why we are here and what we need to do to stay sober. Makes me grateful for the opportunities we’ve been given. I need to thank my Higher Power and all those who have helped me.