How easy it used to be to pull anyone of us into all kinds of things. This program has changed that for so many of us. I know for me how quickly I can step aside and think things through. Never could before.
Going back and thinking about this, a friend and I were talking about how it was for us, when we were young to begin to resist what we were being told by our parents. And, of course, if we have our own children we know what that’s like. We wanted to stand up and go our own way. So we would talk back, do things differently than what we were told to do.
What we both could identify with was how, by the time we arrived here, no matter how old we were, we were still doing the same things. We had not grown up. I know I was still immature. It was awful for me to slowly begin to learn that I was still basically almost a child. And growing up was going to be difficult to learn.
Immature, insecure, and oversensitive was what I was told I was. And I really could not deny that’s where I was. And to top all of this off, I wanted to control and run everything. What was so bad about that was I had no idea how to make a mature judgment. Worse yet was that my ego was so over sized. Thank my Higher Power those old timers knew exactly what was wrong with me, especially my sponsor.
Ego deflation in depth was exactly what I needed. That’s what I got. I was cut down to right size by these people in here. What Dr. Harry Tiebout did to help those old timers, who did the same for me. I am always grateful that they did what they did. It’s exactly what I needed.
Anyway we were talking about the difficulties we have in life and that brought up all this stuff to mind. How I had to learn to keep my mouth shut and listen. Not easy, especially in the beginning. I also learned how desperately I needed to become patient and pay attention to what I was being told to do to put this program into my life.
All this reminded me of how blessed I have become, by learning to do what I needed to do in this program. Didn’t happen over night. Time definitely took time. But the result was that I was given a new way of living for this alcoholic. I received a spiritual awakening, I was restored to sanity. I received the Promises in the Ninth Step. I’m not always aware, when new blessings come into my life. Sometimes it takes time to know what I have been given. I am so grateful for all the changes in me and my life.
Learning to become humble and to take the time to remember why I am here. To stay sober this day. To be grateful and to be willing to give what I have received to others like myself, hoping they will grow along spiritual lines and stay sober. To have compassion and give what I have to them. I owe so much to my Higher Power, this program, and the people in it, who have helped me along the way. Thanks.