One of those things which has struck me and others are our states of mind. And what’s that? Regardless of our ages we feel young no matter what.
I was thinking of this today, when I was out with my daughter and granddaughter. I mean, sitting inside of myself I cannot see my age, regardless of age difficulties. Again, amazing.
I often think this is what I brought into this program. I’ve also heard others say the same. Totally immature in the beginning. Thank my Higher Power for my old sponsor, who tried to get me on track. Then I look back at him and others and saw their sense of humor very youthful. That definitely was me…and still seems to be so.
Yet, all I have to do is focus on why I am here and I seem to be in a different state of mind. I suddenly realize what it is I need to be doing to stay sober a day at a time. And yet, when I find myself sharing with the new person, I find myself back in my youth one more time.
However this “youthful state of mind” is often a plus for me. It is this which helps me to stay in a positive attitude. It also helps me to keep my concept of a spiritual way of life fresh. I so often find myself kind of stumbling and it helps me to get out of my way and rededicate myself to why I am here. May sound confusing, but when I look at it, it makes sense to me.
At the same time I know that I often react the same way a number of others have told me about how they react. How often, when they find themselves stumbling along, rather than steadily walking forward, they feel they’re “new” in the program. Seems dumb, but it is part of what is wrong with us humanly. Spiritually is another matter. That puts me back on my feet again and helps me to help others. Often I’m not aware of that, especially, when someone needs help. I can be “young”, and, without being conscious of it, I seem able to step into the proper state I’m truly at and help others.
Often at this point I find how I can practice what I so desperately need in here: humility. Stepping aside from thinking I’m in control. Turning my will and my life over to my Higher Power and this program.
Anyway, as I sat there talking and listening to those younger than myself today, I felt truly aware of the kind of mind I have. It almost made me laugh out loud. In spite of my real age difficulties, I was given a positive feeling. Makes me grateful. I know it’s the result of what my old sponsor gave to me, along with a number of those old timers. It certainly worked for them. They could be responsible, but also could help me and others feel good about themselves. Even when they were deflating out egos.