I guess I could write about this subject of anger in about every other email. Nothing has dogged me in character defects as this one has. It can be so subtle at times that I don’t even know it’s there. Until it finally shows its face. A friend of mine in the program once told me that our character defects can come at us in a variety of ways and disguises before we know what is bothering us.
The thing about anger being disguised, it can come in such forms that we cans see it as something noble. Or it can come in the form of undeniable justification. It can soothe our hurt feelings. It can show itself in a way that others can support us in our outrage and tell us that they would feel the same way. under the circumstances.
The problem is that anger can do just what Bill tells us it does. He said it cuts us off from the sunlight of the spirit, the insanity returns, and we can drink again. That thought may seem a little over the top, but think about it. The result of anger is that we very often don’t want to give it up. We slide into resentments, which boil just below the surface and color our thinking and emotions. We can no longer think clearly or act appropriately.
Considering anger, it is hard to conceive how in our daily lives we can avoid such an insidious defect. Except that we are told that we must try to practice these principles in all our affairs. Life seems to offer us a wealth of opportunity to practice anger. The daily irritations which come at us almost unbidden. A veritable minefield to be crossed every day.
Unless we remember and prepare ourselves for the day ahead.
The first thought which comes to mind is that I came into the program with anger. Anger was one of my main resources out there in the world of alcohol. My sponsor told me that if I thought and acted as I did when I was drinking I would soon be drinking again. Another thought was what my sponsor showed me in the BB. The line that says we are as powerless over our anger as we are alcohol. That’s a sobering thought.
So what’s the answer? The same as for alcohol. The answer is spiritual. It’s in the second step. It’s in our every morning, when we ask God to give us the power to carry out his will for us. It’s remembering that the sixth and seventh step applied the day before is only for that day. Today I must remember that anger is the assassin and God is my protection, but I have my part. I have to recognize that I may be faced with occasions of provocation and be prepared. I must remember that others are there to help me through this and by talking to them they can relieve me of the burden and help me by listening to what they say to me.
Anyway, I was thinking about anger, because I had the occasion to fall into that trap this past week.
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