Wants and needs. Now there’s a hot topic for me to think about. I usually know what I want, but often I don’t know what it is that I need. That last thing is: What is it that is necessary for me to live a sober life? The former is all about what can distract me from what it is that I need.
Lately I think I’m sounding like I know something. But today at the meeting, I knew exactly what I need. Not what I know or think I want. And what I need is contact and faith in my higher power. I need a constant contact with the people in the community or fellowship of AA. I need to be sitting in the rooms of AA listening and be reminded of what it is I so often forget.
I need to remember just how powerless I am over alcohol. How just one drink can send me off on a thousand drinks or more. Once I start I know I can never stop. And, I know that one drink can lead to my death from alcohol.
I came to this program so desperate never to drink again. And the good people in here handed me the solution to my problem with alcohol. They gave me a higher power who could restore me to sanity. The answer to my insanity of drinking. In this program I was restored to sanity.
I still love that woman’s story Freedom From Bondage. In it she says that she doesn’t always get what she wants, but she always gets what she needs. And when she gets what she needs it turns out to be what she wanted all along. I can agree with that statement. The same seems to be true for myself.
I know, that if I always got what I wanted, it probably would lead to disaster. At least the potential is there. But, because this program works, I know I will always get what I need. And what I need is to stay sober today.