Bill W. had a formula for clearing the lines of communication between us an God. He said that we needed to have a short prayer, we could repeat over and over to ourselves, so that when we were disturbed and we found prayer hard we could repeat this prayer until we were calm and the way was once again open. Often members will call this “the line was busy”. God is always calling, but it’s us that left the phone off the hook.
I used to have a “prayer” like this. I was told to get one and use it over and over throughout the day. Early on I picked the line “of myself I am nothing, my Father doeth the works”. For years this did it for me. But, as time went on, and I became more settled in and complacent, these words faded into the background. Occassionaly I would remember them and bring them forward, especially in a pinch. When the channel would become clogged with fear, anger, pride, and the l! ike, I’ve found that it became harder and harder to muster up something that would open the lines once more. Something more simple was needed for me. Something more direct.
One day I received a gift from my son out in Colorado. It was a set of tapes given by an old Trappist Monk on the subject of contemplative prayer. I listened to this man and he opened a whole new line of thought and a simpler way of dealing with this problem. Boiled down to it was a way to pray and meditate at the same time. It required that all we had to do was repeat a word or a short prayer until we reached silence within. Much like the mantras, which are practiced in the East. He suggested a word like “holy” or “heaven” or any word which would put us in a frame of mind, which was conducive to prayer. Something that would open us up to God. So, I chose just that; the word “God”.
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In times of stress, or just quiet times, in busy times, at meetings, or before prayer; in other words anytime, I find myself doing just that. I find myself repeating this word over and over again. Even now. Of course I have my limitations on staying focused. My brain seems to be wired in a way that staying on subject is difficult. I can often being saying a prayer and find myself wandering off in all different directions. That’s why writing, such as this is so important to me. I can see the words and pay attention to what I’m doing. It serves to quiet me and allow me to “meditate” and even pray.
First calm the disturbance. That was Bill’s suggestion. Tom would always tell me that, whenever I was disturbed. I need that reminder. Often.
Ned