There’s something to be said for doing things differently. We can all say without fear of contradiction, that this program has made all the difference to our lives. And it can be said that as a result of this we’ve changed. For most of us, it has been a complete change. Or, so it seems. Except for the tenth step.
The tenth step tells us that we’re going to make mistakes, we’re going to fall back into our old patterns. That would say that maybe we haven’t change completely. Some of that old life and our old ways are still sticking to us. People can still annoy us, so we revert back to our old manner of acting out. Flight or fight. Old fears come back and our pride is pricked. So, we act the old way. Minor incidents can still propel us into full out resentments. Cross words or looks can push us back into self pity and sulking. Any number of things can make our day miserable. Perhaps we’re driving and find ourselves in a full blown rage. What’s happened?
One of the instructions in the tenth step tells us that we might have gone on an emotional binge, the resut of which is a hangover from this binge.
The other day I was reading a book by a very spiritual man, who described all of this perfectly. He backs up what Bill says in the 12&12 completely. Except, he tells why it happens. He also tells us what we can do about it.
Without going into detail, he says the cause is what he terms as our emotional program for happiness. That the minute a “familiar” emotion is touched off, we react. When that happens, a “wheel” starts turning. That might not be so bad, except that almost immediately another wheel starts in motion. This is our critical part, which begins a script in our head that assesses the situation in such a way that we’re off on an emotional binge. He says that once that criticism starts we might binge for hours, days, or even weeks or longer. Just check out the last interaction you had with this process.
Bill suggests that once this binging process is over that we go back to the situation in our mind’s eye and rerun the same situation and then ask ourselves how we could have done this differently. We’re supposed to see ourselves in the same scene and picture ourselves doing somethng else than what we did. The next time a similar situation arises, we have an alternative way of acting. The author of the book I read has another suggestion.
He asks us to take notice of certain emotions which seem to pop up on a regular basis. Then he tells us what to do. He says that if the first wheel, our response to this emotion, starts into action, we can pay attention to the second wheel, the criticism in our mind. Stop it from turning by making ourselves do something else. Do the dishes, read a book, go for a walk. Nip it in the bud. This may not be easy, but it can save us from another emotional binge and maybe, just maybe a real one. A wet one.
After all, we’re all doing these steps so that we won’t drink again. We do this by growing along spiritual lines. This is a spiritual way of life; a spiritual way of doing things.
Bill says that when we’re disturbed to first calm the disturbance. Eventually it should take us to the eleventh step. To rest quietly in the presence of God. We needn’t talk. Just rest. God does the rest.
The eleventh step…Enough.