I don’t know about you, but I’m sometimes addicted to old movies. Maybe that’s because I’m old. I grew up with a lot of what are now termed “old movies”.
Why bring that up? And what’s this got to do with sobriety?
Glad you asked that. It’s because of one old movie I saw the other night. It’s called King’s Row. In it the hero becomes a doctor and a psychiatrist at the turn of the last century. Around 1900, when psychiatry was in its infancy. At the end of the movie he’s trying to help a friend of his and is tryijng to protect him from the truth. If anything the friend is getting worse and sinking into a deep depression, when someone says to him “why don’t you tell him the truth?” This person asks him if he really cared about him, why would he hold the truth from him? He does just that and the barriers the friend had set up come crumblling down.
The point is that we always hear that the truth will set us free. But how I’m always tempted to avoid the truth about myself at all costs. Fortunately for me, I had a sponsor who never cared about how I felt about anything. He walked right past my feelings and told me the truth.
Sometimes the truth hurts. But in the end it leads to another step in humility and humility always heals the pain. The kind of pain I tried to avoid when I was drinking. I could live with the lies I told myself, as long as I had a drink in my hand. I even lied that I was drinking, when it was clear to all who knew me. How could I have missed something so obvious?
I think this is one of the places where the difference between pain and suffering comes in.
Someone can tell me the truth I need to hear and I can accept it and get over the humiliation I might feel, because I didn’t know it. Or, I can drag myself off into a corner and sink into depression and self pity and not even know what has been said to me. Or, I can take a drink, feeling I’ve been insulted and abused.
Or I can learn to deal with it and appreciate that someone, usually someone who cares for me, has the courage to help me grow and free me from my dishonesty. That’s the road to sobriety.
When someone asks me a question, can I answer them honestly or will I try to protect their feelings? I know what my sponsor would say to me.
Anyway, that’s what came to mind today.
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