More and more I hear others say at meetings that alcoholism is more mental and emotional than anything else. If I hadn’t had a sponsor and been exposed to some really old timers, I might fall for that. These men always would refer me to the BB and, in the beginning especially, wanted me to read The Doctor’s Opinion. And that’s where I ran into the first “must” in AA.
The book tells us that “we who have suffered alcoholic torture must believe–that the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind”. I think for myself that the emphasis on everything else to the exclusion of this physical aspect, sets the alcoholic up. If it’s a mental problem then we might just be able to fix it over time. I think this comes to others, who are fond of quoting Bill telling us that alcohol was just a symptom and bottles just symbols. It’s in our head. Baloney.
The people who keep emphasizing this, which is correct, as far as it goes, must have forgotten or never underwent the nightmare of the physical craving, which kept us going back over and over again to satisfy that craving. The point is, if alcohol is just a mere symptom and bottles just a symbol, then alcohol itself wasn’t a problem. At some point we might just be able to take a drink with no consequences.
A good test is to go ask a returning veteran, who has gone back out to test the waters. Let him or her tell you what it was like out there. I know from my own experience, before I came here. I also have talked to dozens of returnees.
One woman, an old friend of mine, told me of her venture. She had eight years sober when she took a drink again. She told me that her first exposure to AA was relatively easy, in the sense that she was so excited to find a solution that she grabbed onto it got into the program with relative ease. She didn’t want to drink anymore. The second time was almost hell for her. She craved a drink everyday for at least two years. She told me she had to fight the drink off with clenched teeth and was hanging on with her flingernails. She warned me not to even be tempted to think about ever taking a drink again.
So, today, I picked up the BB and reread the Doctor’s essay. It was a good reminder. I need to remember her example and to continue to pay attention to this program which has given me the relief I sought to stay sober.
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