New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day. Like Christmas, they’re big celebrations and looked upon as landmark dates in our year. Especially the beginning of a new year. And yet, for the alcoholic, people like us, it’s just another day.
There is no one, like the alcoholic, who at times, when we were drinking, used and abused these kinds of days. I used them as a way to justify what I was doing all along. After all it was New Year’s. Who wouldn’t drink in celebration of such an event. Kind of like July 4th and St. Patrick’s Day. I tried to convince everyone that it was only reasonable to celebrate and toast the occasion with drinking alcohol. After a while, no one really bought that excuse, but I always believed I was getting away with it. Until it cost me a job or some other disaster as a result of my drinking.
On the other hand, it strikes me, that alcohol was ever present. It was the one thing that was present almost everyday in my life. It never took a day off. Monday or Friday, or a snowy day, or a rainy day, a sunny day, or New Year’s Day, Christmas Day, or any day, was a drinking day for me. The fun had gone out of why others honored or celebrated the day. I was drinking because I had to and was trying desperately to cover it up.
Today, it’s nice to think about why these are benchmark days, but they’re really just another day for me. After all, alcohol never takes time off, whether it’s a vacation, or a holiday. It’s ever present and absolutely central to the alcoholic’s day. It was always that way for me. I want to remember that and never forget that holidays, and, as I said vacations, were all the same for me. It was all about booze and never happiness.
This day and everyday are days when I must remember my primary purpose and pay attention to living and staying sober…just for today. But…lest I forget…Happy New Year, anyway.