Since I’m practically snowed in, I couldn’t get to a meeting today, so I decided to have a meeting with you all. I decided that the subject of this meeting is alcohol and staying sober this day. In particular, I was thinking about my character defects, which get in the way of my sobriety. They’re always there, lurking and waiting for me to lose it. You know, the proverbial broken shoe lace.
Step Seven in the 12&12 tells me that I am going to have to develop more and more humility as I go along in this program. But my problem is that I am stubborn and want my own way. What I was thinking about today is my tendency to anger and wanting to get even.
This morning, after I had gotten up, I was headed for the shower, when I discovered that it was already occupied. The other person’s shower went on and on for nearly an hour. That was enough to irritate me no end. But, when they were finally finished, guess what? No hot water.
You can imagine the stupid thinking, which was beginning to flood my mind.
The Seventh Step was as far from me as it could get. Not even a thought of the “spot check” suggested by the Tenth Step. I was disturbed and I didn’t care. But, in spite of all of this, the program began to nag at me. Just as I was beginning to slip into the “fun” part of my defects.
What I began to think about was keeping my mouth shut and practicing these principles in all of my affairs. I thought about how un-nice I wanted to be. How so often it can be a struggle to be nice. Grabbing on to my phone, I called my ride, knowing that he would be snowed in and not going to the meeting, and talked to him. Not about what I was struggling about, but we talked about spirituality and our relationship with a higher power. It worked, as it always does.
The result was that I was able to do something, which I was totally incapable of doing in former days. I was able to be nice. I was able to go out of my way to do some tasks I wouldn’t have done at one time. I was able to avoid my anger and step around it. In other words, I was able to get back to sober thinking.
This isn’t bragging or thinking of praise for myself. This, I believe, was all due to my friend in the program and the grace of my Higher Power. It was evidence to me that this program works if I will work it. I know this, because I am able to sit here and talk about it. Despite myself, I am grateful for all this program has given me.