Some things are hard to swallow. We choke on them and they can make us sick and crazy. I’m talking about acceptance. A very good friend wrote about having to do a task for someone else. It reawakened a lot of resentment.
When we’re faced with having distaseful tasks and deal with difficult people, it can frustrate the hell out of us. Especially if we were realted or once were close to the people. It’s hard to get this stuff down. But there are answers, whether we care to think there are or not. I know, because I’ve certainly had to deal with this many times.
I’m talking about staying sober and thinking sober thoughts.
From experience and sharing with others, I know that the first thing I must do is first calm the disturbance within myself. Nothing good is going to come from getting emotionally upset and then proceeding into the chaos I expect.
Like the 10th Step says in the 12&12, when I’m disturbed there’s something wrong with me. Even if others are precipitating the problems, I have a part in how I react. I’m disturbed. I have to take care of that first and foremost.
Talking to others and listening to their counsel is the start. Then prayer, particularly the Serenity Prayer. What’s possible for me to do and then what is it that only God can do? Almost all our problems can be solved by going to the spiritual first. If I will only stop and calm myself down and then seek the spiritual solution. It begins in the steps. I’m powerless and my life is unmanageable. Only a higher power can restore me to sanity. God could and would if He was sought.
I have to remember that I’m an alcoholic. I don’t think and react as others do. I need help. I can’t do this alone. I’ve had to learn that the hard way by making many mistakes and many messes, when it comes to the matter of acceptance.
But, what is it I have to accept? There are some things which are just unacceptable. The BB tells me that we’re not doormats and don’t have to take people wiping their shoes off on us. There are times I have to walk away. I don’t have to accept unacceptable behavior. There are times, when it is the right thing to do to speak up and let others know I find what they’re proposing is off base. It’s a judgement call, with which others can help me, especially a sponsor. Going it alone in spiritual matters is dangerous. Since I have gotten sober, I have found most things are spiritual, even though they might not appear or seem to be spiritual.
Anyway, I was thinking about this today, after a meeting and after the words of another. It makes me think of sobriety and being grateful for all the help I have received from others and my Higher Power.