If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there. But if you do know where you want to go, a road map, directions, will point the way.
When I was drinking, I never knew where I was going. And often I would end up in places I never wanted to be. I never could or would follow directions, so I was totally lost in an alcoholic world. I probably wouldn’t have heard them anyway.
Dr. Carl Jung told Bill W. that what the alcoholic was seeking, although the alcoholic didn’t know that, was God. Alcohol for a while, acted as a transforming substance for me. My first real encounter with it, when I crossed that invisible line, was something like a spiritual experience. Some of us, like Dr. Bob, began seeking a spiritual answer to our problem with alcohol long before we came into the program. But, once in the program, I was, like everyone else, introduced to the concept of a higher power, and then the God of our understanding. In fact, as I read in the BB, it was Dr. Jung, who planted the seed for this, when he told Rowland H. to find a spiritual experience to relieve his alcoholism.
The question was, when I got here, how was I going to get from here to there. To God. This God I didn’t understand. And, lo and behold, I was presented with a road map. The 12 Steps. I was told that all I had to do was to put these Steps into practice and I would have a spiritual awakening. I would reach a point along the way, where I could begin to have a conscious contact with this God of my understanding. I would be restored to sanity, from the insanity of having to take a drink, and I would undergo a change in personality. My attitude on life would be changed, from negative to positive. I would no longer be so self centered and selfish as I had been. I would become willing to reach out to others and help them as I had been helped. But, most of all, I would no longer be plagued with the desire to take a drink.
I didn’t have to make anything up. I didn’t have to struggle and get lost along the way. All I had to do was follow the map given to me. I did and it worked out exactly as I was told it would. It was like having one of those devices on so many car dashboards. A map, telling me which way to go, and even a voice giving directions. The voice of my sponsor and other old timers. The voices of those, who had been down this road before. When I got off the path, which I often did, my sponsor was there to get me back on track. When I look back, I find it absolutely amazing.
I know how fortunate I am that I found a place, which had a road map. Not everyone in this world is so fortunate. I remember years ago, being at a Franciscan Monastery down in Washington, D.C. The Friar, who was talking that day, said this very thing. He said that there aren’t many places where you get a road map, which will lead you to God. Then he said, that there was a place, which had such a map. That was AA and the map was the 12 Steps. I never forgot that. It was true, as far as I know. It worked for me.
But for an alcoholic like me, all this is premised on my staying sober. What I have found can be lost. All I have to do is to pick up a drink of alcohol and all would vanish in a blink of an eye. I know that as long as I follow the directions given to me, I can stay sober. However, if I should one day choose to follow my own path, all bets are off. Once my ego and my intellectual pride takes over, if I once again become self will run riot, the consequences can be fatal. I’ve seen this happen over and over with my own eyes. I pray I never go there.
I may be armed with this road map, the 12 Steps, but I also know what lies beneath the surface of this road I’m on. Alcohol. I’m not cured. I’m still powerless and the next drink is patiently waiting for me to pick it up again. Yet, along the way there are all kinds of directions to keep my feet on the straight away. Warning signs and signs pointing the to the way to go. All I have to do is to read and study the directions in the BB, go to meetings and listen for the reminders I need today, talk to my sponsors, or other experienced alcoholics, and watch the newcomers and those who have wandered off the path returning. And, of course, be willing to show others how I recovered. Show them the map.