A very good friend reminded me of the Promises in the 9th Step. Every now and then I do think about these. They’ve been important to me in my staying sober. After all, here they were being offered to me and they came to fruition, just as my sponsor told me they would.
A new freedom and a new happiness certainly. That was not immediately apparent until I realized that they were new. Something I had never experienced before. I was free at last from the bondage of alcohol. That definitely made me happy.
However, these aren’t one-time rewards for applying the steps to my life. They accompany me along this path each day I stay sober. They come to me as a result of practicing these spiritual principles. Or, at least trying to. No matter how imperfectly, I can still see their impact on my life.
Probably the one that I first recognized was the one, where fear of people left me. I can’t express enough how often I needed alcohol to ease my inner tensions, when dealing with others. I never felt at ease or comfortable with others. Yet, putting the Steps into action, I discovered I was able to deal with people with relative ease.
When I came here, I suffered from a sense of paranoia. I would enter a room so self centered and thinking only of me, that I would feel everyone in the room was staring at me. I can remember how painful that was. In the 9th Step I discovered something. As I made amends, my deep resentments began to fall away and dissolve. It was then I recognized how my fear of people came out in anger. I had no idea. But it did begin to teach me something about my character defects and how to begin to deal with them.
Thinking about this today, the Promises and what put me at ease with others, reminds me of the promise about God doing for me what I can’t do for myself. All this, because I hit a bottom, which drove me into this program. And all this, because I never wanted to drink again and became willing to do whatever it took never to return to alcohol; the 12 Steps.
I am so grateful I found the program. It not only helped me to get sober and so remain, it also gave me a spiritual awakening; an inner revolution, which changed every aspect of my life.