Finally got to a meeting, after two weeks being on the sick list. And what a meeting. There were three people in various stages coming back.
One man, who had stopped going to meetings, said he hadn’t drank yet, but the idea was definitely creeping in. He said he feared it would break through his defenses like “gangbusters”! A big tough guy, young, he said he was frightened at the prospect of what he was facing.
One woman, who was also coming back, said that she had just finished a tour in rehab and needed help. The second woman, said she was five days away from a drink, after five years sober.
My thought was pain. Had they suffered enough pain to convince them to surrender? Did they believe they were going to die, if they continued to drink? Had they hit their bottoms? If they hadn’t, nothing any of us said would convince them that they needed help. Nothing would drive them to work this program into their lives. They would probably drink again and possibly die as a result.
When I was called on, I spoke about this. Knowing you can’t scare an alcoholic, I went ahead and talked about the number of people I have known over the years, one just recently, who drank themselves to death and died a lonely bitter death. And then I talked about my bottom. That last day drinking, when I literally sank to the depths of alcoholic insanity and suicide. A day etched in my mind I hope forever. It was that which convinced me to accept the hand of help offered to me that day. It was the beginning of sobriety for me. Without that, I too would probably have died an alcoholic death back in my early forties. Was my bottom a spiritual awakening? Probably.
Anyway, coming home, after the meeting, I had to stop and think about this. The group was on a 12th Step call today. And like all such “visitations”, you never can be sure. Did they get the message? Was a seed planted, which will grow into another beautiful sober life? Only time will tell. Like all the others, I can only hope. But I was glad I was there and could be one of the participants in carrying the message.