One thing that I have tried to keep alive within me is enthusiasm for this program. A sense of excitement for what I have been given. My sobriety.
I was thinking about this today, when I was talking to a friend of mine. How easy it is to lose our edge in this program. We can get bored by the repetition of what is said in meetings and what we read in the literature. But with enthusiasm nothing grows stale.
As a result of working these Steps, I found in the change which I underwent that there is more exciting things within me than there are on the outside. This excitement began, when I found that there was a way to get sober and stay sober, when I came in. It began with the hope that was offered to me by the man, who told me that there was a place where men and women met and stayed sober together. It was increased, when I went to my first meeting and saw the evidence of a power greater than myself in the people, who had the power not to drink alcohol.
Over the years, with the exception of moments of down and doubt, somehow I have always returned to that enthusiasm. Who, I wonder, could not be enthusiastic for the gift of sobriety? Imagine, I tell myself, still able to stay sober in spite of myself. I don’t have to drink, when at one time I couldn’t help but drink. Drink until I almost died and went insane. I came here never wanting to see a drink again.
For me there is no doubt that I had to have the willingness to do what was asked of me. That dogged willingness led to hope, and, like I said, it was in that hope that this excitement within began. From a hopeless state to hope. What a leap that was.
Anyway, I couldn’t help but stop, when I got home, to sit and think about this. I pray that I may keep what has been a treasure trove for me, my enthusiasm. I have had a lot of help from the many friends I’ve made in this program. Two especially, who have helped me maintain my thoughts and involvement through the good times and the “bad”. I’m ever grateful for what I have.