Reading about spiritual awakenings and those who had them, it always amazes me. I mean, reading about Rowland H., who apparently had a spiritual experience, which helped him get sober and stay sober, to Bill W. and his description of his illumination.
Then there are people somewhat like myself.
To me, who could not control his drinking one day, and then was relieved of the compulsion and obsession the next, I had no idea of what a spiritual awakening was or that I had one. Apparently I did right from the start. I’ll take it. It saved my life and was the beginning of my sober life.
I remember reading stories from the first edition of the BB. Particularly one about a man, who was looking for a spiritual experience and didn’t know he had a spiritual awakening, when he finally became honest about his drinking and got sober. He had to be told by his sponsor. In fact it was just recently heard that I had a spiritual awakening just before I came in the doors of AA. I had never thought of it that way until another man, referring to my story of how I got sober, said that. I thought he was kidding until someone told me he wasn’t. He was serious.
This business of getting sober and staying sober in the program is because we have the solution. And that solution is premised on us having a spiritual awakening. A psychic change, as Dr. Silkworth in the Doctor’s Opinion states it. We change, as a result of working these Twelve Steps. Part of that change is the restoration to sanity. We’re told that after working the Ninth Step that sanity will have returned. What kind of sanity?
The sanity which puts us in a neutral position, as far as alcohol is concerned. That was my insanity. I couldn’t stop drinking. Now I no longer want to drink and all that is premised on a daily reprieve contingent on my spiritual condition.
But the spiritual awakening is more than just that. It changed me psychically. Like Dr. Jung said to Rowland H., I’ve had a change in my attitudes, my motives, my thoughts, and a whole lot more. As the BB tells us, the same man will drink again. I’m not the same man, thanks to what we call the spiritual awakening.
As we sat after the meeting today, three of us, we talked about the spiritual awakening. We all spoke of our gratitude for being exposed to this spiritual way of life, which none of us ever expected before we came into this program.
I couldn’t help but think of that young woman, who spoke today how she still had physical compulsion to take a drink. I thought as the meeting went on how the answer is in our willingness to surrender and accept this spiritual solution. I don’t know about her, but I was certainly helped by her presence today. I’m sure many in the room were also.