I got a note from an old friend and I was reminded of what can overtake so many of us, myself included. It also reminded me of how much I can be in denial about all these faults of mine.
What my friend talked about was complacency and self pity.
Complacency alone is a tough one for someone like me to handle. By definition it is being comfortable or self satisfied, especially when it’s coupled with an unawareness of the danger it poses. What’s the danger? Perhaps I need to tell myself that I’m not cured of my alcoholism. I just have daily reprieve. And that’s based on how I’m doing in my pursuit of spirituality. But just the word itself means that I have let up on that pursuit.
When complacency is coupled with self pity the danger is compounded. Why self pity? Because, when I’m complacent, self satisfied, things begin to fall apart in my program. That’s when someone like me begins to search for someone to blame for what’s going on with me. That’s when the danger I have ignored is starting to come to the surface.
The answer comes from what my sponsor once asked me. To what lengths was I willing to go to stay sober? My answer was that I was ready to go to any lengths. But over time I know that enthusiasm for the program can wane. It takes effort on my part to continue to work this program. But if I want to stay sober that’s just what I need to do.
Anyway, after hearing my friends words, I just had to stop and think about this aspect in which anyone in this program can find themselves. I’m so glad she brought this up. I need to be reminded of this. Complacency can be so subtle that I know that I and anyone can fall into this trap. Awareness is one of the most important tools the program has given to me. And when another member sends us an alert, I need to pay attention and take a quick inventory of myself. I’m grateful that I have friends who are willing to remind me of what needs my attention. Lest I forget.