Some old thoughts came back today. Sitting in the meeting today just reinforced them for me.
I was remembering my early days in AA and what it was like back then. Particularly my last day drinking. It gave me a boost. Really. It confirmed my reason for being sober and renewed my commitment to this program and my sobriety.
Bill W. was right, as far as I am concerned, when he reinforced the thought of the necessity of bottoms in the First Step in the 12&12. Who else would commit to doing the Steps and the rest of the program unless they were going to die, as the result of their drinking?
But it was more than that, which caught my attention and my thoughts. It was the fact that there are many layers to the Step, below the surface of the words. Yes, I am powerless over alcohol. But that being powerless goes so much deeper than I can imagine. What lies deeper within I can’t say at the moment, but I can guess.
There was something else that engaged me at that moment. It’s something that I can only say has to do with this way of life. An inner excitement I have felt from time to time. Something on the order of being glad and grateful that I have had the opportunity I have had. To me it can only be expressed as sobriety.
What a wonderful way of life this has been for me. As I sat in the meeting today and we were talking to a new person, it all came to the forefront. Here was someone, who was having the same opportunity I had, when I first walked through the doors of AA. I could remember the moments of that first meeting. The hope I felt, as I sat and listened to all those sober people. People, who were able to express, what I could recognize; they knew about alcohol. But they were sober and had the power not to drink. I didn’t have that and desperately wanted what they had. The hope that maybe I could have what they have sprung up within me at that moment. Just maybe I could have the solution too. So to for this young person, I hoped.
Anyway, as I talked to others after the meeting, the thoughts and feelings I had this morning were supported. So much so, as I was talking to one man, who was having some problems, I told him what my old sponsor had told me. Go to the BB. When I asked my sponsor where in the BB, he said, “Anywhere!”. I told that man the same thing. It had worked for me then and still does.