What is it in the mind of an alcoholic? Funny. I was talking to an eighteen year old and an older man together after the meeting today. Revealing about all of us.
Both the older man and I had to laugh, as the young man described his thinking to us. It was us. He described his thinking about God, spirituality, rebellion, ego, and on and on. But it really was a description of both of us. Maybe all of us.
It really took me back to what my old sponsor used to tell me, when I was relatively new. But I was 42, not eighteen. He said that I was insecure, immature, and oversensitive. That’s what I was hearing from this young man. But that’s also what I was hearing about myself.
Perhaps I have a relative maturity about myself. But only by degrees. It’s still all about me or almost all about me. How grateful I am to have others to talk to, in order to get me out of myself. Relieve me of the bondage of self. How often I pray those words early in my day. Get me out of me.
How well the BB describes us alcoholics. Our egotism. Our self centered natures. But there is a solution. Just like there was a solution for our drinking. And just like the spiritual awakening, which restores us to sanity, as far as alcohol goes, each sober day that I’m able to practice this program and its spiritual principles, I do get better. I know that from the evidence of those around me, who in one way or another are in my life.
Couldn’t help but think how great it is to meet so many people like myself in this program. Age doesn’t matter. We’re all the same. But it’s especially great, when we’re all sober. An old timer I remember used to say that AA was like a great big one room school. Some are younger, newer in sobriety. Some have different time and development in the program. Some are old timers in the program. But everyone is in the same room helping one another to move along in the program. There’s no graduation and we’re all together. I often think about that at the meetings I attend. If nothing else, it is comforting, when I’m able to remember and see it that way.