Every once in a while, I have to pause and think, how important am I? Then the answer comes and it’s always, not that important.
Reading the BB and the 12&12 and the rest of the literature, I become aware of what is wrong. I am self centered. My greatest concern, it seems, is what is going on with me. How the world around me affects my life. And, no surprise, I hear this all the time from others.
I know what the answer to all of this is. It’s found in the practice of the spiritual principles of this program. The 12 Steps. I know if I do this that my mind and my attitude begin to change and I can see that others are in this world along with me.
When I’m quiet and experiencing serenity and peace of mind, I often go outside and sit looking at the world around me. Looking up at the stars at night, I become aware just how small I really am. When I understand this, I realize just how powerless I am and just how dependent I am on my higher power.
The truth is that I know that I don’t stay sober on my own. That’s exactly why I need this program. I need everyone in this program to help me stay sober. It’s not knowledge which helps me stay sober. It’s the grace of the God of my understanding.
What started me thinking this way today was a conversation I had with someone else, who is struggling with the concept of an unmanageable life. The idea of being powerless. I’m not sure what they got out of that talk, but I know what I did. It made me aware of my powerlessness and what being unmanageable means to me.
If I’m honest with myself, I can see what sobriety means to my life everywhere I look. It’s right there under my nose all the time. It makes me grateful that somehow I found this way of life. Without it I would have been dead many years ago. But it’s more than that. It has given me a way of life that turned everything around and made it wonderful.