How many times I find myself in what I hear from others. I sit and listen and there I am. All kinds of things. Anger, resentment, pride, and a whole lot more.
One of the great things about this program is that I’m exposed to people just like myself. They’re sober and striving to stay that way. Me too. They often want to open up and just get that stuff within them out on the table. The great thing for me is that I’m there to pick up what I find about myself.
Often, in the process, I’m able to offer them what’s worked for me. My experience. And then I get to hear what I’m saying. Stuff I might have used in the past, but that’s it. I’ve often left it right there, in the past. And once again I get the opportunity to resurrect it and to put it back into action.
I often find these moments to be what sobriety seems to be all about. I recently was talking to an old friend of mine, who has almost 60 years in the program. What we talked about for a while was the fact that we still have these defects, which often pop up and give us some trouble. She said she doubted we would ever be done with them. They’re with us for the rest of our life. But the thing is, with us who are sober in the program, we have tools to deal with them. If we want to and are willing.
Of course our motivation for picking these tools up and using them is that’s what we have to do, if we want to stay sober. And our tool box, which contains them are the BB and the 12&12. Any time I need them, all I have to do, is to pick these books up and open them. And the next thing is to come up with the willingness to use them.
One of the great things about this program is that I’m given the privilege of being able to listen to these people. A gift it seems, which is freely given to us all. If I will only avail myself of these moments in time and say “yes”.
I often think that the 12th Step is always there. The new person as well as the old timer. If I’m truly grateful for what I have, I will welcome the gift.
Anyway, I was thinking about this tonight, because I have been blessed with these moments. In a sense it lets me peek into the mirror. None of this is a one way street. It’s always a two way street. The giving and the taking goes both ways.
Like the BB says, the spiritual life is not a theory. It has to be lived. And the living comes from the taking and the giving and vice versa. It’s part of the action of this program. And this is a program of action. Even sitting quietly and meditating is an action, though it may not seem that way.