I remember an old timer, who used to say that AA was ephemeral. Meaning that what we learn and what we do lasts only briefly.
I was talking to a close friend of mine today, who reminded me of what this man said. We both had to agree how right he really was. Often what I have today is gone before I know it.
Why that is I think is because of who and what I am. Maybe all of us. I’m an alcoholic. This way of life, the spiritual life and all it encompasses, does not come naturally to me. I came from a tornado in the lives of others, with all the emotional sickness and insanity that is alcoholism. Though I have tried to follow the path this program offers me, it has not always been easy.
I came in here, looking for a way to stop my out of control drinking and life. But I was told the only way to do that was to live a spiritual life. The alternative was to die an alcoholic death. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t had a wonderful life. I have. Happiness, freedom, peace of mind, serenity, a definite way of being comfortable with myself and others has been some of the benefits. But the means required to accomplish this often slips out of my mind so quickly.
That’s why meetings are so important to me. I need to hear what it is that I need to remember and do, which helps me to stay sober. Without them I would drift and get off track in no time. I know that by witnessing what has happened to others like myself. They either drank again or slipped back into a form of insanity, when their emotions took over their lives again. I never want to go there.
If I stay faithful to talking to others, going to meetings, reading literature, and staying current with the Steps in my life, I find my life and my sobriety has been enriched beyond my expectations. All of this due to being offered a chance to step aside and accept a power greater than myself to help and guide me through each day. Attaining a relationship with a God of my understanding, who does for me what I cannot do for myself.
And, as I look back over this time in sobriety, I am absolutely amazed. It may be ephemeral, but as long as I remain attentive to what I was told, my primary purpose, being vigilant, I find myself in a good place.