Watching someone, who repeatedly goes back out and comes back in, makes me think about what we call our “bottoms”. What is it? I guess each one of us has our own experiences and degrees within them, which caused us to surrender and accept our alcoholism and then do something about it, which saved our lives and our sanity.
I know my own story and what made me turn my life and my will over to this program. I’ve heard so many and some are worse than others. But the bottom line is that we stopped drinking and came in and eventually did what worked for so many alcoholics before us. We put those Twelve Steps into action and arrived at a spiritual way of life, which brought about that spiritual awakening.
Is it our anger, which keeps us from surrendering? Or is it the fear and feeling sorry for ourselves, which stops us from going any further than the next drink? Fear that we will lose control of our lives and we’ll end up being just another robot?
One thing for certain is that, like so many before them, our minds and our ears are closed tight. Not listening to what is being said or misunderstanding what people are saying to us. Moreover, it’s probably the insanity, which is part of this disease. The awful distrust we have of those around us. Especially, when we are being offered a way of stopping drinking. Exactly what we are fearful of doing. Stopping drinking alcohol our companion of so much time in our lives.
Today someone mentioned the First Step in the 12&12, which talks about the necessity of bottoms in order to get sober. How none of us would be willing to do what is necessary unless we know that we’re going to die, if we don’t. And death is the final conclusion for those of us, who are true alcoholics, if we continue drinking. As it says in the book, we come to listen as only the dying will listen.
I’ve often wondered over time, as I watched others like this person today, are they able to hear and understand these words and the solution being offered to them? Unfortunately I have seen too many, who acted the same go back out and die. Suffer awful deaths.
I know, when I think back to my own bottom, I never ever want to drink again. The fortunate thing for me is that I was rescued by my Higher Power and granted a spiritual awakening, which neutralized my alcoholic condition. The grace I have received has kept me sober from the day I walked through these doors. I can only be grateful for this and act accordingly, by practicing this program on a daily basis. Not responsible for being here, but responsible for staying here.
I guess we can have hope that what happened to those of us, who are sober, that people, who continue to “slip” will somehow someday find their bottoms and surrender and come in and do as we all have. Put this program into action and find the kind of life we have. Peace and happiness. Freedom from the bondage of alcohol. I know that’s my hope. But some of these people, I guess, suffering from despair may never get that hope, which was given to us.
I was told a long time ago that, if the alcoholic prospect doesn’t want this program, that I’m totally powerless over giving them any help. I was told to move on to the person, who does want the solution being offered to them by this program. Sad, but it’s the reality of this disease.
Just grateful that I and the others I know have found the solution and are living it.