Taking the time to sit down and meditate or think about what’s so important in my life, I find that it brings moments of peace and serenity into me. When I do this I come to realize that there really is nothing more important than my being able to stay sober this day. To me it’s everything.
Everyday I try to take these moments. My hope is that my friends and others in this program will take the time to do the same thing. I often listen to and share with others, who find themselves complicated by so much outside of themselves.
I read a card earlier today which contained the thoughts of a very thoughtful man from the past in this country, Ralph Waldo Emerson. He spoke about what’s going on around us and how small these matters are compared to what lies within us. My thoughts are he was referring to what we need in our lives. Spirituality. Or, as the BB states, the spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.
If I want to stay sober I know that I have to go back again and again in here to what began all of this for this alcoholic. What keeps me sober and has preserved my life, which I should have lost to alcohol a long time ago. That was when I was shown the Second Step in here and it began a new way of life for me. I hope that I never forget that. It opened the door to this program for me.
I know up to that point I had what was called a “God hole” within me. A deep dark cavity within me. I had tried for years to satisfy what was missing within by filling myself up from things outside of me, including materials and alcohol. When I got in here I discovered I was wrong in trying to fill the vacancy from the outside. I found that I was going to have to begin to fill it up from the inside. Nothing material, but all that’s spiritual, which I had failed to do until I came in here.
So the Second Step was what began to change all of that. I discovered that I had to begin to lead a spiritual life or die an alcoholic death. I had been on the edge of that and never wanted to go back there again. So I surrendered and came in to this program where I was given what I needed to start my life all over again. I have never regretted that. I have found peace and happiness in here. A new freedom as the Promises in the Ninth Step begins.
I have grown in belief and reliance on a Higher Power, whom I believe helps me everyday to stay sober. Not only that, but I have also found out, beginning with my old sponsor, that I have friends and acquaintances in here who have also helped me to learn how to stay sober a day at a time. I found I cannot do this alone, nor do I now ever want to.
Anyway I am so grateful for all I have been given in here. Thanks.