Today I went back into the BB to reread one of the stories in the Chapter 3, More About Alcoholism. It was about a man named Fred. His description of finally discovering and accepting that he was an alcoholic is so supportive of alcoholics like myself. His description of his last drunk, which started in a hotel in Wash. D.C., was a place where I too often got drunk myself.
But it was his description of the presentation of this program to him by his Twelve Steppers, which always made me stop and think again and again. That’s because I know I stumbled over such presentations in here. His thoughts and acceptance always impressed me. I mean I didn’t go back out and drink, but I had a tough time clearing my mind out and going ahead like he did.
He said the actions in this program were sensible, but drastic. That was his description, which was kind of mine. I wasn’t sure of sensible but drastic, oh, yes. Nevertheless he discovered that the acceptance of the spiritual principles would solve all his problems. When I finally accepted the Second Step I could think that way, except it did take time. I wasn’t as quick as he was. I remember I accepted a Higher Power, but still had struggles with my ego and my thinking.
However in time I did arrive at where he did. The description of his life before and mine were different, and that might have been much of the problems I had in the beginning. I mean I felt definitely immature, let alone insecure, and oversensitive. Yet in time, like him, I finally arrived at the same point of satisfaction and finally a sense of a new happiness and a new freedom. I, like Fred, wasn’t just drinking anymore, I had finally reached sobriety in here.
Anyway I sometimes like to go back and review others and identify with them. It reinforces my commitment to this program and my sobriety. I get the same thing in here, listening to others and identifying with them. But occasionally, when home and everything is quiet, to just sit and read and contemplate and compare my sobriety with that of others.
I was thinking about this today and it did do exactly what I thought I needed. And that was another reminder of why I am here to begin with. To pay attention to the fact that I’m here to stay sober a day at a time. Makes me so grateful to my Higher Power, this program, and all those in here, who have through my time in here shared and helped me, like Fred just did.