Interesting conversation certainly helped me to think about what we are doing here and what we often need to do. And one of those was two situations in which others stepped in and saved two alcoholics from taking a drink again. I was grateful to hear what I was so closely related to.
I’ve often been reminded of what the BB said at the end of the Fourth chapter More About Alcoholism. That the alcoholic at times may have no effective defense against that first drink. And probably no human can provide such a defense, except in a few rare cases. In other words it’s going to have to come from our Higher Power.
Unfortunately I have seen this too often in here. And I was once exposed to this as were friends of mine and we all were fortunate that we were saved from this experience. In my own case I was at dinner one night, about a year and a half in this program. I hadn’t even thought about a drink in all of that time. Anyway, after the dinner in the restaurant, where I hadn’t been bothered by those drinking, we were all suddenly offered free drinks. And that’s when I lost that defense.
All of a sudden I was overwhelmed with the drive to get a drink and to harm anyone who got in my way. Fortunately my wife was standing next to me and asked me why I had this expression on my face. Somehow I was able to tell her and she simply said that I needed to step out the door and say a prayer and ask for help. And I did and it worked. The desire was gone. The thing was that I never even thought about prayer or asking for the help I needed. I have always been grateful for that moment. It saved my sobriety.
I had a friend of mine who went through the same thing. They had driven someone to the main airport in DC back then and was leaving the airport, walking to the parking lot, when they passed an open bar and suddenly felt the drive to go in. Somehow they dragged themselves to a public telephone to call for help. The very fact they picked the phone up and dialed began to remove the desire which had overwhelmed them. And then they got the help from another alcoholic. Actually it was a spiritual moment, as they told me. Again an amazing moment.
Anyway these thoughts were just another reminder of why it is that I need each and everyday to remind myself or be reminded of exactly why I am here. To take the time to concentrate on the spiritual life I need to be leading in here. That I’m here for one reason. To stay sober a day at a time.
I was glad for the reminder I was given. It makes me grateful that others will do just that. Remind me. I get that in meetings, and like this time, in conversations and sharing. It makes me grateful. Not just the thoughts, but the fact of how much help I have been given by my Higher Power, this program, and the people in it. I need to say thanks.