It is amazing how people and circumstances can help to remind me of why I am here. Today was one of those days where phone calls and personally talking to people reminded me of that, plus memories of things which happened to me.
One of those things was the subject brought up at our meeting today about negative people. Person in the meeting said he was tired of meeting negative people. Then one talked about how negative he himself was. And that made me stop and think about changing our attitudes and the intellect over emotions. On top of that, the Steps and the way this program has worked for so many of us.
On a personal level, I have learned to laugh at myself over time in here. I also learned to stop my day and start it over, when I find myself in a negative situation. On top of that, I have been helped to learn how to put these Steps into action in my life. Plus, I know that need to live the last three Steps on a daily basis.
I was reminded also of all those old timers, my sponsor and others, who helped me to begin to change my thinking and my actions over time in here. One of those was to learn how to bring my Higher Power in and help me to stop or cut down my negative emotions.
Particularly resentments. I know I was given the gift of being a witness to a number of alcoholics, who, as a result of resentments, went back out and drank and died. Talk about a wake up call.
Yet I know that I’m still a human being and that, as my sponsor and others pointed out, I will find myself stumbling over my faults and defects the rest of my life. And that’s where the last three Steps come into my life. My applying the spiritual axiom in the Tenth, that whenever I’m disturbed there is something wrong with me, not someone else. I’m to focus only on myself and deal with it. And then there’s the Eleventh and finally the Twelfth.
And, in a few of these calls, and talks, I was definitely reminded that I needed to remember to practice putting myself into a positive attitude and not a negative attitude. Reminded me of how I need to start my day, often laughing at myself. Going out with a smile on my face and greeting others with that. It so often helps me to lighten up the day for me and others.
That doesn’t mean that I’m not serious about staying sober and helping others. Even seeking help for myself, when I need it. I need to freely give what was freely given to me. And I also need to continue to grow along spiritual lines and ask for help, when I need it.
Anyway I had to stop and think about this. Another reminder that why I am here is to stay sober a day at a time. Plus I need to practice gratitude. I’m so grateful for what I have been given by my Higher Power and this program. I also need to be thankful for all the help I have received from so many others in here.