I was once again reminded of what those old timers taught me. Intellect over emotions. I learned it as a spiritual need for such an emotional alcoholic, as myself. I had to learn to get away from being ruled by how I felt. For instance anger, resentments, self pity, sadness, egotistical control, and on and on. I have seen sober alcoholics going back out and drinking again, as a result of being ruled by negative emotions. And dying. Have never forgotten that.
I don’t ever want to drink again. So, as my sponsor told me, I needed to think with my head and not my heart. I had to learn to stop being controlled by my negative emotions. I had to learn to put the spiritual axiom of the Tenth Step into action. To get away from negative attitudes and back into the positive.
One of the things I learned in here was that I can start my day off on the right note. Committing myself to stay sober this day. Focusing on the spiritual prayers and meditation. And, if possible, going to a meeting sometime in the day, and getting reinforcement. However there are some problems I might run into, which can get me off track. That’s my being a human alcoholic and not a saint.
I might start my day off on the right track, but often, during the day, my mind can wander down another path. As my sponsor and those old timers pointed out to me that I can find myself tripping and stumbling over my old defects and landing on my face. I was told that I had to pick myself up and dust myself off and change myself from being run by my emotions. I had to pray and ask for help and put my mind back in charge of my negative emotions. And then to get a positive attitude instead of a negative attitude and get back on track. And I was told to be aware and hopefully ready, because these things would pop up until the end of my life. All this helped me to change again and again, limiting the influence of these old thoughts and feelings.
Anyway I was reminded today. The result for me, and I know others, to reach peace within. I know I had a happy attitude after, because I did what I was taught. And hopefully I passed help on to some. If anyone has any questions they might go to the 12&12 and read the last paragraph on page 79, which finishes on page 80. I would recommend re-reading again and again and come to understand what Bill W. was saying.
I am grateful for all the help I have been given. I need to thank my Higher Power, this program, my old sponsor and those old timers. I also am grateful for all those I continue to meet and listen to. So much help and care.