This was a day when there were a large number of alcoholics in our meeting, and at least two, who were very new, along with a couple, who had been around for a few months. Why I stopped to think about this was because one of our sober persons brought up the subject of the Second Step. Hopefully that opened the door for, not just the new alcoholics, but for everyone of us in there.
I can never forget what this Step did for me, when my old sponsor helped open the door for me in this Step. I found I had two choices. I can live a spiritual way of life, or I don’t have to. If I take number one, I can get sober. If I won’t, I might end up in a bar and eventually dead. These were presented to me and I felt I had to choose to begin to try to live a spiritual life. The second choice was something I didn’t want to do.
I discovered what had gotten in my way was the way of thinking my negative emotions were ruling my life. That’s what my old sponsor helped me to begin to understand. As long as these dark thoughts were running my life I could very well end up like my first sponsor, who went back out and got drunk and died. I found out that they were in command of my thinking. They were lies! And I had been controlled by them throughout my drinking, and now, when I wasn’t drinking, I was still being run by them. My anger, my resentments, my fears, my hatred, my self pity, and the list goes on, all dark and negative.
I had to learn to begin to put my mind in command, and not my feelings. And, as I began to do this, I began to change. Most of what I was thinking wasn’t even true. And what was true, I had to begin to forgive and hopefully forget. I also had to get help and hope from my sponsor and other old timers in here. And, of course I had to begin to depend on my Higher Power. To have faith and trust in him, and to begin to live a spiritual way of life.
Again I learned that time takes time. None of this happens right now. Just a day at a time. Besides I had to learn how to think, which had escaped me for so long. A positive attitude, which helped me to begin to learn how to live in peace and happiness. Again I had to remember that I am not a saint. I am a human alcoholic and can find myself sometimes forgetting and tripping over myself, and have to learn to pick myself up, dust myself off, and start my day over. Asking for help from my Higher Power, and others in here.
Anyway, there’s more, but I think I need to stop and ask for the help I need from my Higher Power and others in here. I have to stop and remind myself, why I am here. I am here to stay sober a day at a time. I mean, right now. This moment. And to be grateful for what I have been given. The love and compassion