One of the most interesting and important things in here is the Step Ten chapter in the 12&12. The reason it strikes me so importantly is the fact that it definitely goes into the the negative emotions, and just how dangerous and even fatal they are.
It talks about one of the most dangerous negative emotion, and that is resentments. I have seen the effect of this in a return to drinking again, and even death. But that’s not the only one. Envy, hurt pride, self-pity, jealousy, and more can do the same thing. Even though we may not be drinking, it can happen again, if we don’t deal with these.
That was one of the dangers I had, when I came into this program. And I know it’s true of so many just like me in here. Like I said, I have seen how it has effected so many. My “mind”, which was in control of my thinking, were these negative emotions. And I had to learn how to change all of this and bring my real intellect into what rationally controls my thinking, and how to control and put these negative emotions away from me.
For instance, this chapter talks about how anger at someone else can be dangerous. Rather than being able to get over such anger, we can end up with it being permanently deep within us, and then take us back out. I was going to have to stop and forgive and forget. Eventually I did.
What worked initially in here was the Second Step and my being able to enter into a spiritual way of life. And almost immediately my being able to accept a Power Greater than myself. On top of that, I was beginning to listen to my old sponsor, and a lot of old timers. As clumsy as I was, I began to listen to those who knew from their own experiences how to step back and turn this over to my Higher Power and be able to practice what I was learning.
None of this was an overnight event. Not a saint, but a human alcoholic, I had to do this a day at a time. I was being helped to start to change my thinking, and how to step back and start to control and push these “control negative emotions” out of my mind. To start to think positively. Like I said, over time I did.
I owe so much to my Higher Power for all he has done for me. All he has given me, and all those like me, who have followed the Steps, and the spiritual direction in here. Like I said, not an over-night event. The greatness of this program takes a long time, but very wonderful.
So, once again I have to express my gratitude to the God of my understanding. And all those, who have helped me in here. My hope is that I may be able to help people just like me.