Today’s meeting reminded me of all the members trying to talk to a young woman, who has been coming to meetings on and off and going down hill. Seems she is not doing what she needs to do to stay sober. Sad. I’ve seen this so many times, and have also seen what happens, often fatal one way or another.
Once again I was reminded of what it was which got me sober in here, and that was the very firm old timers, who told me to “shut up!” and learn to listen. She wanted to talk about “one day at a time”. And all the members really talked about that and what it did for them. She came back in near the end of the meeting and went down hill, so to speak. Reminded me of what we can do, if the person will listen and follow directions. And, if not…..
Personally, I remember how it was for me, which almost could have taken me down hill. My first sponsor and another alcoholic, both of whom had resentments, even though they both had ten years in the program, went back out and drank alcohol, and died. A wake up call for me. I was told that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. Made me become willing to change and do what we need to do…if I wanted to change and live a sober life.
However, it reminded me of the Serenity Prayer. None of us can change anyone, except our selves. And that is becoming willing to live a spiritual way of life, and relate and follow the God of my understanding. I was once again reminded that it was not me, who made me get sober. Nor was it anything which I had, which could keep me sober and on track. I can look back and see what it was which made me get sober and stay sober a day at a time.
I always have to remind myself that I am not in charge. I have to step back and let go. I can want to help anyone, who wants it, like I did…and so many others I know in here. I know how grateful I am that what was freely given to me is exactly what I need to do…a day at a time. To have the hope and faith I definitely need, and the compassion and love to help all those who need it. Makes me aware of how I have to step back and let go and try to apply the humility we all need. It’s not about me, but my Higher Power.
I need to stop and say “Thanks” for all I have been given by my Higher Power, and all the men and women in here, who have helped me so much.