Getting sober and staying sober is one of the most important things in my life. There is no doubt about this for this alcoholic. All I have to do is look back at my past, when I was drinking and see the hell I was going through. The overwhelming depression and the desire I had to commit suicide, rather than continue to drink alcohol, which I could not stop no matter what I tried.
Of course, now that I have been sober in this program for quite a while, I know what it is I need to do, and that is to surrender to my Higher Power and this program. And to be grateful for all I have been given in here.
Yet I know that I am not a saint. I’m a human alcoholic, who can pray, meditate, and be committed to staying sober a day at a time. But I can also find myself wandering off, even though I try to stay focused on my staying sober. Like it was pointed out to me by this program and my old sponsor, those old timers, and experts I have spoken to, I am still human and will fumble, stumble, and tumble, on and off over the rest of my life. I have to remember what it is I need to do to get back in touch with why I am here, and change.
I was thinking about this today. I prayed on and off, meditated, and tried to remain committed to this way of life. Yet, no matter what, every now and then my mind would wander. So, I talked to another alcoholic like myself and shared with each other. We both found out how we can remain sober and continue to live this way of life. I could not get to a meeting today, but I was able to step back and remain focused on why I am here.
I am happy and at peace of mind and heart. This is just one day at a time. For now I can stay focused and tomorrow is another day. I am here to stay sober one day at a time. And I am grateful for what has been given to me. I must thank my Higher Power and remain grateful, not just for the God of my understanding, but all those who have helped me over my time in here. Thanks.