I can well remember what it was like when I made amends to a few, who were angry. I also remember how my sponsor and his great wife helped me with these. The first one was to a great national organization I did the press for. I got the president on the phone, and before I could talk to him, he slammed me from the beginning and then hung up.
I remember how shocked I was and went back to my sponsor, whose wife was there and talked to me. She listened to what I said and then calmed me down and told me that I was to go to the phone and call another person I had to make amends to. I did and was able to make amends, which relieved me, and opened the door to continue to make amends. That and my conversation with her not only began relief from what happened between my old boss and myself, but helped me to turn it over to my Higher Power and relieve my anger and make peace within for me.
And then one day I made amends to my mother, which helped me to grow in relief. I remember she was sitting in the parlor and the house was empty at that time. I told her what I was going to do and she was a little reluctant to hear this, but I went ahead anyway. After a while I finished and she sat there in complete silence. Then she suddenly turned and looked at me and said: “And further more…”. I never forgot that and still think about it, because it caused a lot of laughter for me. It still does.
And then another amend helped change me even more. It was to an old employer of mine. I was in his office and he was talking almost non stop. I was getting irritated because it was preventing me from presenting my amend to him. When he finally stopped I made my amend, and then left. I still felt a little angry, when I stepped out into the hallway and headed toward the elevator. Suddenly my anger melted away, and peace came all over me. And then, just as suddenly I realized that all the resentments in my life had melted away. Then it hit me. They were never real. I had made them up because I wanted to blame someone so I could rid myself of the guilt I had, which I wanted to get rid of.
Anyway, when I got home today I had to stop and think about all of this. It helps me to remember why I am here. I am here to stay sober a day at a time. Not to go into the future, but to stay right here. Nor to go back into the past and begin negative feelings within me. And to be grateful to my Higher Power, and all those who have helped me to continue to stay sober.