I remember my sponsor saying to me, when I was whining and complaining about something, “How important is it?”. If I thought about all those occassions I did that, I know that I can’t remember what the complaint was about. The truth is that when something is no longer important, it just goes away.
But our problem is that somethings just never seem to go away. It’s like finding an old bottle of booze hidden away in our closet. We think about tossing it, but don’t, because we try to think of someone we can give it to, rather than waste it. It tells us that we still place a value on booze. It’s kind of like that about things we hang onto from the past. We shiver when we think about the things we did, but they always come back to mind to haunt us with guilt. Like the booze we value them. Why are they so important?
There comes a time, when we must learn to devalue these things. Their only importance is when the time comes to resurrect them to help someone else. Then and only then are they important. Then their value is beyond price.
I remeber a time, when I was doing my ninth step. I would go to certain people, whom I held great resentment or had harmed greatly and make the amends. How many times, when I left did I find that a whole host of people on my list had just disappeared. I couldn’t remember who they were. If they would have walked up to me, I wouldn’t have even recognized them.
They were gone in an instance of grace. I had nothing to do with it.
These thoughts, which haunt us sometimes late at night, or when we sit all wrapped up in ourselves, are like that. We have to learn to take some action which will expel their importance to us. Sometimes all we have to do is to replace them with what is important to us. For instance, our sobriety and what makes up our life today, which keeps us sober. Because that’s what’s really important.
Maybe these things are important because they relate directly to a chacter defect we are hanging onto because we’re still getting payoffs from them.
That’s something I was thinking about today, as I recalled my sponsor’s words, how important is it? That and the thought, that when something is no longer important, it just goes away.
It’s all about living a sober life a day at a time and thinking sober thoughts.
Bored stiff? Loosen up…