I was thinking today of someone I have known for so many years in here. A friend, who is suffering from a lot of pressure in her family. In fact I know a number of these. But this is someone, who reached out to me. It reminded me of a couple of things.
One was something my sponsor would remind me to do frequently: to walk the talk. In other words to step out and help another alcoholic by offering them what I have learned in here. The other was the words at the end of the main text of the BB, in A Vision For You. That what was written is only a suggestion and the truth is that we know but a little. It tells us that we’re to ask the God of our understanding each day how we can help the man who still suffers and if our house is in order He will show us.
The point of that chapter and this book and my sponsor and those old timers is what my life is all about in this sober way of living. I’m here to help others if I can. That doesn’t mean that this way of life is limited. I know from my own experience just how rich this way of life is for me. Not monetarily. But surely I have found happiness and freedom from the bondage of alcohol. And it’s that freedom and happiness I am supposed to bring to those who suffer from this disease. If I can.
And that speaks to my limitations.
When it comes to helping others I have come to understand things I never knew or understood before. Having been in the program a while, I have learned from others and from my own experiences, just how far I can go and how far I cannot. I learned in here, when I gave up trying to control things, that no matter how much I think I know, I really don’t. And that has come up a number of times to show me that even though I thought I could, I have never been able to change another person’s mind. Ever. Unless they were open and willing to change.
I should have learned that through the practice of saying the Serenity Prayer. Just how powerless I am over others. And often circumstances in my life. I had to learn to surrender and accept the truth of my life and find the peace and serenity in this way of life.
If I have the compassion and the empathy necessary to work with others, the humility and not the self centered desire for praise, then I’m walking the talk. Not talking the walk, as my sponsor pointed out to me. He also showed me that sympathy is definitely not needed nor should I exercise that. I learned that if someone wants sympathy that I have to learn how to sidestep that. If I really want to help and I care enough, I will do what I can and leave it at that. If someone wants what we have then that’s something else.
I also have to remember that I’m not a doctor or a psychiatrist. I’m not here to diagnose nor prescribe. Nor a minister, priest, or rabbi. Not here to preach or teach others about our Higher Power or that God of our understanding. That’s up to each individual to find what makes sense to them. I’m just another sober drunk, who has been fortunate enough to have been freely given this program, which is what I’m supposed to do for others.
Just thinking about how much I have been given and hope that in some way I may be able to pass that along, as I learned in here from my sponsor and so many others. Really grateful for what I have been given and am thinking about that.