I talked to a young man briefly today. He admitted that he needed to stop drinking, and he had. But he was already aware that he was not able to stop thinking and living the way he was living. I asked him to go over and talk to an elder sober man, but he didn’t. Sad.
It made me grateful for the old timer I had met, who had kind of knocked me off balance, when I wanted his help. He was the one, who told me that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did.
He hit the nail right on the head inside of me. It woke me up. I was ever so grateful to him for what he did over and over again for me. I began to learn how dishonest I was. I didn’t know it, until my old sponsor showed me that I needed to change my thinking. I had to get out of my way.
I desperately needed to learn how to deflate my over sized ego and to let go of my negative thinking, and begin to use my own mind, rather than listen to the negative emotions, which made me believe I knew what was right and what I was doing. I had to learn to stop resenting others, and being angry all the time. I suffered from worry and fear.
The truth was that I felt a total failure and wanted to push all that off on others. I had to begin to change and think positive. And all of that began, when I opened the door within me into living a spiritual life. When I began that Second Step. It also opened the door to my beginning to believe and to start a relationship with my Higher Power, the God of my understanding.
I was sorry the young man walked away. I can only hope he stops and finds a long time member, who knows how this program works and can help him out of the negative hole he is in.
Once again I need to be grateful for all I have been given in here. This way of life, which has freed me from the bondage of alcohol and helped me to stay sober a day at a time. All the help and the gifts of my Higher Power. The happiness and the wisdom I have received. The faith, hope, and love, and so much more. I am so grateful. And I need to also thank my old sponsor, and all who have helped me to begin to seek the humility I need.