Went to a wake today. Oh, that’s right, it was an AA meeting, but it just seemed like a wake. All meeting long, people dipped into the past and the horrors they experienced on Thanksgiving and then talked about their expectations of people drinking around them in a couple of days. Heavy stuff indeed.
I sat there, listening to all of this, and thought about today. After all, that’s all I had was today. Somehow I couldn’t bring two days away into this day. As I looked at today, I felt content. I was happy with the day, as far as I had gone today. I hadn’t thought about a drink and that made me happy. I knew that I wasn’t going to drink today and that made me happy.
As I thought about all that was being talked about, a thought came into my head. It had to do with all this morbidly wandering around in the past that was going on. It had to do with all this dire talk about what they expected two days hence. My thought? Lift up your hearts and let go of the past and get over your expectations.
Finally a voice of reason came out of an old timer. He said just what I was thinking. Drop the past and get on with the day. The reason he had come here was to stop drinking and he had for many years. He was sober. He couldn’t think of why he should get out of this day and try to live in the expectation of what was to come. He was grateful for what he had today. He spoke for me.
The joy of living is the theme of AA’s twelfth step. As I got up to leave, a man with quite a few years came over and asked for my phone number. He then asked me if I would sponsor him. It came as a surprise, but it reminded me of the twelfth step. It also reminded me of why I go to meetings.
No one’s life runs smooth on a straight line. We all are constantly running into problems. It’s life. I know that’s true for me. That’s why I talk to others and they to me. Meetings aren’t the place to be bringing up our travails. Meetings for me is to carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. I come to learn how I can stay sober this day. Everyday I come to a meeting I hope to hear something I know I have forgotten. I need to be reminded of what it is that I need to do today in order to stay sober.
I guess I heard what I needed today. It reminded me to stay in today. It reminded me that I need to stay grateful for what God has given me and remember the people who have supported and helped me along the way to stay sober. It reminded me that I need to practice these principles in all of my affairs. It reminded me that I have changed and that my job today is to try to do God’s will for me today and ask for the strength to do that.
It also reminded me of what Bill W. once said to a friend of mine. “I’m just another drunk just like you.” That’s me. Anolther drunk, just like the rest. I guess that’s what I heard today. A bunch of drunks, sitting around and talking like drunks do. I’m glad that I was there to hear what I heard. People just like me. How fortunate I am.