What is it that makes for long term sobriety, other than the old joke, don’t drink and don’t die? A friend of mine and I were talking about that today and that made me think about this.
Both of us agreed that it takes more than just hanging in. It takes meetings, but it takes more than that. It takes study of the BB, but it takes more than that. It takes working the steps, but it takes more than that. It takes adherence to the Traditions, but more. It takes all these things…yet more.
Both of us agreed, from our own experience, that much of what we talked about is still a mystery. Neither of us feel that we can really explain it. As we grow in this program, both with many years behind us, we have become dumb and dumber. But there are a couple of things which are obvious, even to us.
Isn’t it amazing that the founders and all the early members had a foresight on what works, even back at the beginning? And not much has been changed or needs change from the first writing of the BB. What was written has never been challenged or needs a challenge. It worked for the first members and it has been working right along through the years.
Surrender, surrender, and more surrender. Each day I get up I have to surrender to the principles laid out for us. Yet, I often fail in this. I sometimes find that I don’t want to. The discipline of surrender is hard for me, even after all this time. But when I do fail, I’m still sober and still don’t want to drink. What is that?
The HOW of this program is still so valid. Yet I find that I’m not always honest, I often close my mind, and I’m not always willing. Yet I’m still sober. And I often am not doing the best I can.
Yet, at the end of any given day, I find that I’m faced with a moment, when I have to go to my Higher Power and confess my failings. I often talk about these with another alcoholic. It’s a dependency I need. In the final analysis, I believe I am being carried in spite of myself. It seems to prove to me that no matter how much “good” or “bad” that I think I do, that it’s not dependent on me. My sobriety is not mine. It belongs to the God of my understanding. Pain was the key to my original surrender and still is. The memory is still there and I know it’s necessary to renew that memory often.
Bill W. saw an illumination, which gave his sobriety a push in the beginning. My bottom is no different than that I believe. Both were a spiritual awakening, even though I didn’t realize it at the time.
Whatever it is “it” works. But I really don’t believe it will, if I don’t try to practice these principles in all my affairs, despite my failings. If I don’t go to meetings, or pray, or meditate, or study the literature, surrender, accept, and keep on keeping on one day at a time.
I was thinking about this and am grateful I have been given so much.