There, but for the grace of God, go I. Hmm. I know the words, but I’m not sure, when I think about it. Certainly, when I see someone drunk, I’m glad it’s not me. But that’s not the first thing I think about.
The first thing is that I can see myself in the drunk. Their words and actions remind me of the way I was. The second thing is that I wish that they could get sober. The next is that I’m stuck. I’m powerless. If I know this person, I do realize that their disease has taken over. If I truly believe that I suffer from the same disease, and knowing that it could be me, I better throw up a prayer for both of us.
My problem is that the words of that statement seem to put me in a superior position. As alcoholics, drinking or sober, we’re all equal. I remember, when I came in, I had a deep resentment against a man with whom I used to drink. He had tried to come in before I did on three different occasions. Each time he attempted suicide. On his third try, it worked. I recall that I was talking to my sponsor about this and he stopped me and asked me what was wrong with the man. I told him that he was an alcoholic. He asked me what I was. I told him that I was an alcoholic. Then he said that as an alcoholic in recovery I hoped to be understood by those around me. Why wouldn’t I be able to understand another alcoholic like myself? That floored me. It had never occured to me to think that way. He was right. It changed my mind and my heart.
Anyway I was thinking about this and the HOW of the program. Getting honest with myself and opening my mind and becoming willing to understand other alcoholics like myself. I don’t have to be so foolish as to accept unacceptable behavior, but I can understand it. But what it does do is to remind me to resolve not to go there myself. And it does make me grateful for the blessings I have received.
Like I said, just thinking.