How easy it is to assume one knows something. I was always doing that, when I came into this program. I was convinced I knew what was going on in AA and didn’t have to listen to anyone. That was quickly smashed one night, when an old timer challenged me and told me to shut up!
A friend and I were talking today about our alcoholism and it’s effects. One of those was that very thing. That old saying about a little bit of knowledge being a dangerous thing. We know a little bit, but not the whole thing, and assume we’re right. That’s where the trouble comes for us. When we insist, either within or without that we’re right. And then that old saying, I’d rather be right than happy comes into play. We end up miserable. Especially when we find out how wrong we are.
It’s just that I don’t want to drink again. And it’s this kind of thinking, which can open the door to that next drink. It can get me into anger with myself and others.
Anger leading to resentment. How dare others not believe how right I am! Now there’s an invitation.
It made me go back and read the Desiderata again and think of what my friend said the other day about a wholesome discipline. Now there’s something I could definitely use. A discipline which would tell me to shut up! Keep my uninformed opinions to myself. I could definitely use that more often.
It’s not that this is a problem today. It hasn’t been for a long long time. But, as we talked, we both agreed that we have a tendency to slip back into this character defect of ours. We can push it away, when it tries to invade our thoughts, but there’s always that moment, when we might not be paying attention and slip back into it. Not hard to do. We’re neither of us beyond being human. We’re imperfect and subject to our defects of character.
Anyway, I was thinking about this tendency to think we’re right and know everything. It definitely made me think of what I try to keep ever present; my sobriety and the need to stay aware. I’m still powerless over alcohol. I never want to kid myself. I may not think about a drink, but that alone can lull me into complacency and thinking I have it made. I don’t. I’m just another drunk and that should keep me on my toes.